


to dwell on dreams

by verivala



Series: Grindeldore requests [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Gay Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hurt/Comfort, Lullabies, M/M, Memories, Nightmares, Pensieves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 19:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19409602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verivala/pseuds/verivala
Summary: Albus has a nightmare, Gellert comforts him.





	to dwell on dreams

**Author's Note:**

> "It does not do to dwell on dreams and to forget to live" - Albus Dumbledore 
> 
> For hannahtheshipper on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> For the prompt:  
> "I saw that you’re accepting prompts, so I thought that maybe you could write some angsty grindeldore one-shot in which albus is having flashbacks from the summer of 1899. in these flashbacks dumbledore is having a nightmare and gellert is singing him a german lullaby to cool him down and after (maybe?) they’re talking about their childhood. some hurt/comfort in general. I’d love to see how do you imagine this."

"This matter with the Goblet. It is- troubling, to say the least. You will keep an eye on the boy, won't you, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, taking a final sip from the cup of tea he was holding.

Severus inclined his head, a slight sneer hovering over his features. "As I have done ever since he stepped a foot into this school. Not that he appreciates my efforts, the arrogant prat."

Dumbledore sighed and shook his head in resigned amusement, "I do wish that you would see the boy for who is and not for who he outwardly resembles."

"I cannot comprehend why you insist on having this conversation every time. I will protect him. But that's all I will ever do," Severus snapped in a clipped manner.

Shaking his head, Dumbledore gave in for the time being. "Very well,” he sighed. Smoothing down his elaborate robes, he rose up from his chair. “I think I would rather like to stretch my legs before I go to bed,” he mused. Rolling his eyes slightly, Severus walked to the door and held it open for him. Dumbledore smiled at the gesture; his eyes twinkling behind his glasses as he climbed through the doorway. “Good night, my boy,” he called out, receiving a curt nod in response, before starting his way back to his office.

Dumbledore walked down the quiet Hogwart's hallways, his purple robes sweeping gently behind him. Once in a while, a student swept past him on their way to their dorms, slowing down just long enough to nervously nod in his direction. Dumbledore nodded at each of them in turn, an amused smile twitching on his lips.

Oh, to be of the age where your only worries were homework and worrying about making it to your dorm before curfew, thought Dumbledore wistfully. It had been a long time since his cares had been as trivial as that.

“ _Seht ihr den Mond dort stehen?_ _Er ist nur halb zu sehen,_ _Und ist doch rund und schön_ _-_ ”

Dumbledore slowed down his steps as the faint melody carried down the empty hallway. _Was that-?_ Silently he crept to the corner where the song echoed from and peered behind it. A Durmstrang student was sitting on a stone bench with a young Ravenclaw, a first year by the looks of him, and quietly singing him a lullaby while the younger student sobbed into her red school robes.

Dumbledore closed his eyes; the notes of the song were terribly familiar.

He lingered in the hallway just for a moment longer to make sure that there was nothing more severe than homesickness wrong with the young Ravenclaw. Then he continued down the hall, the sweet melody still echoing in the empty hallway behind him.

When he closed the door to his office, Dumbledore briefly leaned against it. He smiled at the concerned sounding coo that came from the magnificent, fire-red Phoenix perching on top of his armchair. Dumbledore walked over to Fawkes and smoothed down a few stray feathers on the top of his head with his hand. "There's no need to worry. I'm quite alright, my boy," Dumbledore reassured him. Fawkes nudged his hand with his peak, blinking slowly at him.

As he continued to pet Fawkes, Dumbledore’s eyes wandered over to the cabinet that held his Pensieve within it. Slowly removing his hand from the top of Fawkes’ head, he walked towards the cabinet. He caressed the wood for a moment, hesitating, before opening the door. He looked at the Pensieve resting inside. He knew that nothing good would come out of what he was about to do, but the melancholy that the song he had heard in the hallway had caused in him had yet to leave him, and he was unable to resist its call for much longer.

Reaching out, Dumbledore opened the secret compartment at the deceptively smooth looking bottom of the cabinet. He gazed down at the contents for a moment, before choosing one particular memory out of the dozens that rested inside the hidden stash. Rubbing his thumb across the faded label, Dumbledore hesitated for a moment longer before pouring the vial's content inside his pensieve and lowering his head down into its swirling blue depths.

* * *

  
1899

_You open your eyes. The sun is shining through the curtains, drawing shadows on the opposite wall. You stretch as you get up and pull your nightgown over your head. You throw the gown back on the bed, your clothes flying to your arms from the closet. You hum as you dress, your mind going through all the things you have to do today. Opening your bedroom door, you start down the stairs, wondering at what time will Gellert visit. You shudder from a sudden cold as you place your hand on the closed kitchen door. Shaking it off, you slowly open it_ _._

_Your mother is lying dead on the kitchen floor, her mouth gaping open. Her dress has been torn to shreds, and the wounds on her torso are still sluggishly bleeding. Beyond her, you see your brother lying on the kitchen counter, in the place of his eyes two bleeding sockets. You lay a hand over your mouth as you try not to vomit._

_You spot another body on the floor behind the table. You start_ _to shake. You could recognise that form anywhere_ _._ _On your way over, you stumble over your mother's corpse_ _._ _Bracing your hands against the counter, your hand lands on your brother’s leg. You jump away, landing on the floor with a loud thud. With shaking hands, you reach out and roll over the_ _corpse lying in front of you. Gellert's eyes stare at you from a mangled face._ _Closing your eyes,_ _you try to control your breathing._

_The sound of a floorboard creaking comes from behind you._

_You turn around and see your sister. She's wearing her nightgown,_ _the once pristine white splattered in red. Her blonde hair hangs about her hair in clumps, sticky with drying blood. Her eyes are expressionless._

**_Ariana, what have you done?_ **

_She opens her mouth and screams silently. She is crying, and her tears are red_ _. Her eyes turn as black as night, and her face starts melting off like wax from a burning candle. You stumble back and hit the kitchen table. She walks towards you; her mouth still open in a silent scream. You can see the bones of her face as her flesh melts of_ _f her. She reaches out a hand, the skin stripping and turning black. Her fingers reach for your face, and you close your eyes._ _The air is so very cold. The skeletal fingers close around your face and you -_

///

Albus gasped awake. Fingers were carding through his hair. Disorientated, he grasped for them, pulling them away. A faintly familiar voice shushed him, and a hand loosely gripped Albus' fingers.

“-Gellert?”

“Ja. Nightmare?”

Albus nodded wearily.

“Lie back down, Liebling,” Gellert instructed, arranging his legs into a pillow beneath Albus’ head.

Albus did so. He let out a breath as the cool fingers returned to his tangled hair. The motion of Gellert's fingers massaging his scalp felt calming, taking away the last vestiges of the nightmare with them.

“ _Der Mond ist aufgegangen,_ _Die goldnen Sternlein prangen_ _-_ “

Albus' eyes sprung open. Gellert's voice was sweet, and although you could tell he wasn't very practised, it was delightful to listen to. The song he was singing sounded very much like a lullaby. Captivated, Albus stared at Gellert's face. His eyes were closed, and his skin and hair glowed faintly in the candlelight as his lips moved with the lyrics of the song. He looked so beautiful that Albus felt like he could not breathe. Gellert cracked one eye open and glared at Albus as he saw he was staring at him. Albus had a moment longer to admire the faint blush that appeared, before Gellert tapped Albus’ forehead with his finger, clearly indicating that Albus should close his eyes. Albus smiled fondly as he obliged his request. The song continued for quite some time. It sounded beautiful, although Albus, with his still rather rusty German, could not understand all of the words.

As the song ended, the final notes fading into the darkness, Albus opened his eyes and asked, “Where did you learn that?”

“My mother used to sing it to me,” Gellert answered, his voice low. The expression on his face was guarded.

“You never talk about her,” Albus said cautiously.

“No,” came the short answer. Gellert’s closed expression made it clear that this was not subject he would be willing to talk further about. Gellert ran his hand through his golden hair, looking at Albus consideringly. “Would you like to talk?” Gellert asked, looking so uncomfortable that it was clear he was not used to giving comfort. It made Albus smile that he even offered. “About the dream?”

Albus considered it. He had never talked about it. His mother had made sure that their family’s past was a closely guarded secret. He flicked his eyes over Gellert, who was waiting patiently for him to come to a decision. The fingers in his hair started their soothing movement again. Drawing in a breath, Albus uncertainly started, “It was about Ariana. My mother- I told you it was an accident.”

“I gather that it wasn't?”

Albus shook his head. “No,” he said, pausing for a moment, “It was Ariana. She- killed her.” At the confession, Albus swept his eyes over Gellert’s face again, looking for a reaction. All he found was a puzzled frown, no alarm or disgust. Encouraged, Albus continued, “You have probably noticed that she's not exactly- “A pause. “- normal.”

Gellert nodded slowly, “I have.”

“You see- my sister is not a squib. When she was six, she was playing in the garden. A few muggle boys saw her and-“ Albus swallowed. “Well- I'm sure you can guess.”

The hand on Albus’ hair tightened. “Oh, I can.”

Albus laid a hand on top of Gellert’s, caressing it soothingly with his thumb. As he felt the tension slowly leaving him, Albus continued, “After that- she developed an Obscurus.”

Gellert was quiet for a moment, considering what he had been told. “Your mother- “Gellert hesitated. “Ariana lost control?”

“Yes,” Albus answered in a pained whisper.

“I'm sorry.”

Albus smiled. The common platitude sounded much more sincere coming from Gellert than it had from any of their nosy neighbours. “Thank you,” Albus said, reaching up to pull Gellert into a kiss. It took them a moment to sort out the least awkward angle, both of them smiling all the while. Finally, their lips pressed briefly together in a sweet kiss, Gellert’s hair tickling Albus as it fell around them in golden curtains.

Retreating, Gellert slid his legs free, crawling down on the bed and slipping into Albus’ lap. Albus’ hands found their way to his sides, gripping his hips slightly as Gellert leaned down again, now into a proper kiss. Their lips slid together, Gellert slipping his tongue gently between Albus’ lips, nudging at him to open them. With a small gasp, Albus opened his mouth, meeting Gellert’s tongue with his own. Gellert’s hands started sliding up and down Albus’ body, his right slipping beneath his sleeping gown, making Albus shiver at the contact of the cool fingers against his warm skin.

Withdrawing his lips, Gellert pressed another kiss on Albus’s temple. “We will make it right,” he murmured against Albus’ skin, “For your sister. For everyone.”

“We will,” answered Albus, sweeping his thumb across Gellert’s cheekbone, watching Gellert’s mismatched eyes sparkle in the candlelight.

* * *

Dumbledore's hands shook on the edge of the pensieve, his eyes closed against the bittersweet pain the memory brought him. What fools they were, the both of them. Naive, power-hungry boys, so arrogant in their belief of their own invincibility.

"I think that's enough of that, don't you think, Fawkes?" he asked the Phoenix as he lifted the memory back to its container. Fawkes let out a sad coo in response. Dumbledore put the vial back to its hiding place, the dozens of memories glinting at him in the blue light, tempting him to take them out. Decisively, he shut the door of the secret compartment, locking the cabinet before climbing up the stairs to his bedroom.

* * *

When he drifted off, it was to the sound of long ago memory.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back y'all! Did you miss me? Because I missed you! If you liked this, please consider leaving a comment, they make my day ❤
> 
> I have no idea if a pensieve would work for storing dreams, but it's magic, so I can do what I want.
> 
> The song Gellert sings is called [Der Mond ist aufgegangen](https://www.mamalisa.com/?t=es&p=3748)
> 
> My Tumblr: bloodtroth


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